Rich was separated from his wife Sharon for sixteen months, from 2003 until 2005. Today he coaches men to reconcile their marriage. “I encourage men to seek God, hold out for hope, and always remember that if they make changes in themselves that it has to result in changes in the relationship.
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If you want to help couples learn to help themselves by coaching their own marriage relationship it is essential that they learn to do two things well: 1. To participate in conversations with heart and skill. 2. To observe and adjust their own communication process.
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Marriage Coaching CAN help a couple in crisis IF they are motivated to learn skills to communicate and resolve conflict, and IF they will humble themselves to receive a miracle from God for their marriage.
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“Isn’t Jill coming for our Marriage Coaching session?” asked the couple in a disappointed tone of voice. We’d failed to notify our clients of Jill’s schedule conflict, but didn’t think they would mind seeing me alone. That belief was a holdover from marriage counseling, I guess. I was wrong. “Let’s reschedule” they said…Two is better than one when it comes to Marriage Coaching…
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Some coaching ministries evolve out of painful experiences. This is exactly how Rich Wildman[1] developed compassion for separated men. He and his wife Sharon were separated 16 months before a successful reconciliation. Today he serves men that are enduring the painful and scary challenge of reconciling their marriage by coaching them.
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It’s the moment of truth that makes every married couple quiver. It happens when they’re asked the question that reveals what they really think, how they really feel, and why they’ve asked you to coach them, “How would you rate your marriage on a scale of 1-10?”
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“Why has God given Christian Coaching to the Church at this time?”

The retreat leader who asked this question to a group of Christian Coaches said that he wasn’t sure that the Christian Coaching movement as a whole had a clear answer. He also said that we needed to understand God’s purpose for Christian Coaching in order to be good stewards of the ministry into which He had called us.

The answers from the audience were similar. The theme was that God isn’t done in human history, that The Church is His chosen vessel through which He wants to accomplish His purposes and Christian Coaching is a way to strengthen it. In other words, Christian Coaching is one way God wants to strengthen the Church to fulfill its purposes…
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Many couples have asked in jest if we could live with them. Why? They experience effective communication, problem-solving and goal-setting in sessions that we facilitate, and they aren’t confident that they can continue such high quality conversations without facilitators to guide and police the process. However, with enough practice and good-will, couples CAN learn to do this for themselves.
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Essentially, we made the decision to coach Ben during his senior year of high school based on our belief that it’s not a great idea to send kids away from home without them having a chance to make their own decisions. We wanted him to have an opportunity to take responsibility for his own life and to process any mistakes while still living under our roof…
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“I want to take more walks with you, Jeff” Jill said as part of a demo during one of our Marriage Coach training classes. “I’m curious about you wanting to take more walks” I asked. She was happy to share. “It seems that when we walk we have some of our best talks. There are fewer possibilities of interruption, and it’s when I get your most focused attention. It helps me feel closer to you”, she said. Walking and talking to get closer? Cool. We just improved our marriage.
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Whether you’ve been disconnected in your marriage for a few days or a few months, the beginning of a solution is the same; communication. And coaching skills provide the tools you need to do the job of building pleasure back into your relationship.
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“What are you doing, dad?” Carly asked over the phone. I’d been out of town for almost a week. We’d had a few good conversations during my trip, but this wasn’t one of them because I simply responded to her question…She wanted to know more, but didn’t know how to ask…the conversation would have gone better and she would have learned something important had I seized the opportunity to teach her to ask sharper questions.
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When we talk about talking before we have conversations it puts us in a good position to take stock of our mental and emotional reserves to determine if we have enough fuel in the tank to be our best in the way we listen and respond. “Can I serve Jill well right now? Will I be able to turn off the conversation in my head and to table distractions so that I can really hear her thoughts and feelings?
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Do you feel like you’ve messed some things up with your kids? Does their life seem to give evidence that you were too hard on them, too lenient, too something because they aren’t living the life you dreamed for them? Is your relational connection strained? Do you wish you could go back and do some things differently?…a Christian Coaching approach to relationship can give you a way to repair, strengthen and protect a loving relationship with your kids, starting today.
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Listening from a heart of love accomplishes more than any other single coaching skill to convey care, build trust and soothe ruffled feathers. It is how Jill and I strengthen the bond of our marriage, and sometimes it is sufficient to repair it. I can’t count the times that we have effectively managed an emotional and potentially damaging conversation by slowing down to simply
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