Coaching Conversation

“So tell me how the sale went today?”

“I did OK, I guess. I sold 42 cards, but it doesn’t give me enough money to buy the gifts I wanted to give this year.”

“That’s OK. How much did you make?”

“After I subtract the price of my supplies, I only made $70.00.”

“That’s awesome, Honey! Think about it: $70.00 has brought you almost to the half way mark. You’re doing great! All we have to do now is think of additional ways to sell your cards.”

“OK.”

“Would you like to do that?”

“Yeah, that’d be great!”

“OK, so what other possibilities can you think of?”

“We could rent a table again and do another Saturday sale.”

“That’s a good idea. Is there anything else you can think of?”

“I can call family members and ask if they want to buy some of the cards.”

“Yes, that’s another possibility; see, you’re pretty good at coming up with ideas! What else could you do?”

“I’m not sure.”

“OK, give it a moment or two; something might come to you.”

-silence-

“Have you thought of everything you can?”

“Yes, I can’t think of anything else.”

“Could I make a couple of suggestions for you to think about?”

“Sure!”

 “Remember, these are just ideas for you to consider, you can choose one of these, or something else if you like. That is completely up to you.”

“OK.”

“You could approach some of the many craft stores in the area and ask if you can set up a permanent display of your cards in their store.”

“That’s a good idea, Dad.”

“Thank you. We could also post your cards for sale on Daddy’s Facebook® account and see if that generates any interest or sales for you.”

“Ohhh, I like that too!”

“What do you think about these ideas?”

“I like them. Do you have any more ideas?”

“No, not really. So if you were to look at these possibilities then: renting another table in the mall; calling family members to buy some of the cards; approaching craft stores to put up a display; or posting on Facebook®, what are you most attracted to?”

“Let’s post them on Facebook®, I like that idea the best.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, let’s do it today!”

“Alright, let’s see what happens.”

 Observation

I ask for progress report on the sale.  This gives me an understanding of the progress she has made, but also the energy level with which she is moving forward.  It was easy to tell she was discouraged.  The tone of her voice, facial expression, and focus on what she didn’t accomplish.

 My goal as the parent coach was to help her focus upon her success, what she had already accomplished, not what she lacked.
 What you cannot hear in reading this conversation is the renewed energy the ‘OK’ carries with it. Her voice fills with excitement again when she realizes just how much she has already accomplished. This is further emphasized by her positive response to my asking if she wants to revisit the E.A.S.E. model and Explore Possibilities once again.

Revisiting the coaching model keeps responsibility with Hannah, because I am not ‘rescuing’ her by offering solutions or giving her money, but allowing her to walk through this process once again.

I give Hannah permission to take time and think this through by allowing silence before asking if she is done.

 I have a couple of ideas myself and ask permission to share them. Notice I use the term ‘could’ not ‘should’ in offering these suggestions.

In making suggestions we must hold our ideas loosely, giving our child the freedom to accept or decline them without feeling bad in any way. In some cases they may need our reassurance that they can dismiss an idea of ours and we’ll be fine with that.

Here I am Assessing Desire.

I restate the Possibilities for her consideration and ask what she is most attracted to?

Her decision is quick and definitive and we Secure Commitment with ease.