Does Your “Say” Match Your “Do”? by Jane BirrAug 28th, 2012 | By Tony Stoltzfus | Category: Transformational Coaching - Guests Posts
Does your “say” match your “do”? Are you living what you truly say you value? Many of us are good talkers, but are we good walkers?
The other day I became so aware that I was shockingly not living my values. It was so obvious that it made me laugh! Not that it was funny. It was just like “Wow…light bulb moment.” I caught myself living so salt and pepper…so obviously opposite of what I professed I believed in that it demanded an adjustment.
Here is what happened. I was with friends at a cottage all weekend having a blast. What a great time! But as we looked at several weeks ago with needs, to be my best I need waves of peace and alone time. That is tough to get with 11 wild friends! Arriving home I found I had a very strong need to connect with God and have our time together. So I hopped on my bike, put on my praise music and hit the trail.
Here is where my values crashed. And as I tell my story, please consider where you are not living your values. When we live our values we feel great! We are confident, free and an open book. When we don’t live our values we just don’t feel right. We hide. The gray cloud follows us. We are not living what is right and we know it. We can run to food to feel better or other cover-ups but we know by now how nasty that works. And if we don’t deal with the “say” not matching “do” right away, it gets easier to make excuses and make it OK, which spells trouble.
Long story short, here I was having a great time praising God and then all these IDIOTS kept coming on my side of the trail. I would have to yell out “on your left” so they would move over so I could pass. They would not hear me, or freeze or who knows what the *^#@ they were doing so I would have to slow way down or pass in the gravel. Such drama! So picture this. In my head the singing and conversation is going back and forth between “Your goodness knows no bounds….Uggh…another IDIOT! On your left! Your goodness never stops. Another IDIOT! Get out of the way. How can people be this STUPID! Your mercy follows me.”
After 20 minutes of trying to praise God and fend off idiots it hit me all of a sudden that the idiot was me! My gosh. How can you praise God in one breath and curse your neighbor in the next! Ha! I found it shocking how I was so not living my values.
How about you? Where are you off track? Do you value being fit and healthy yet still eat too much? Is “tomorrow” still the day you will start lifting weights or getting your stretching in? You say you love your spouse or your friends, yet where is the evidence? Yeah, God…he is number one. Really?
Today, let’s give ourselves the gift of the great opportunity to step up and live our values.
After catching myself living so out of line, I asked forgiveness from God and an opportunity for a fresh start. Then when the next “idiot” came along I put into practice a new system that God put in my head to try. First, I made myself put a smile on my face. That is a mood changer right off the bat. Next, I changed the tone of my voice so “On your left” would come out with kindness. Lastly, as I passed I stopped cursing people in my head but instead prayed a blessing over them of “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to smile upon you and may he give you his peace.” I love my new system! It is so energizing.
1. Know what you value. Pick one value and focus on it today.
2. Live it.
3. Say you are sorry when you are not living your values.
4. Adjust course. Create a system to keep you on track. Persist.
5. Smile and celebrate when your “say” matches your “do.” Great job!
Food for Thought
1. How do you feel when you are living your values? Not living them?
2. What is the impact on your health and key relationships?
3. Hey Champ, what is your next step?
Here’s to making the tough but energizing choices to live on purpose!
Live on Purpose