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Supporting our Children’s Growth the EASEy Way Part 3 by Gregory Bland

May 2nd, 2012 | By | Category: Parenting

There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something you do it when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you make sure it gets done.

Commitment speaks of priority, “I will do this!” and is essential for providing healthy accountability and encouraging our child’s progress. It is here, at this stage of the parent coaching conversation, that we draw a line in the proverbial sandbox and ask our children to step across from simply dreaming to Securing a Commitment to action.

“In light of all that we talked about, what will you do?”

“Will you commit to that?”

When our child says, “Yes, I will commit to that,” it is a powerful act for both us and them. It raises the probability they will follow through, and provides us with the opportunity to Support their Growth by offering healthy accountability as they move toward their objectives.

Let’s return to our previous conversation and see how simple Securing Commitment can be.

Conversation Observation
Continuing previous conversation . . .

“Yes, that sounds good. Is there anything else you can think of?”

“We could also make some greeting cards and maybe even bookmarks.”

“Great ideas, is this something you would like to do?”

“Yes, I would love to do this, it would be fun, and I think I could earn enough money this way, too.”

“What, specifically, are you going to do?”

“Well, I want to make money with this so I will need to check out how much it is going to cost to make calendars, cards and bookmarks before I decide which ones I will do for sure. So I guess the first thing I will do is check out the prices of paper and stuff I need, then decide what I will make. When that is done, I’ll begin making the stuff right away to take to the mall.”

“When do you plan on starting?”

“I’ll start this week.”

“Great, in what other way can I support you with this project?”

“On our next date day, will you take me to the stores and price out the paper, and materials we will need?”

“Of course I will, that sounds like a great date day to me.”

Assessing Desire: “I would love to do this,” is a strong positive indicator for me that she is motivated to work on this.

To Support Growth and ensure action we need to move beyond desire and Secure Commitment: What will you do and by when? I do this by asking what Hannah will specifically do, and then, when she plans to begin.

This process keeps our children responsible for their growth, and at the same time gives us a great opportunity to support their growth.

I offer continued support by asking, “In what other way can I support you?”
This affirms my commitment to Hannah’s growth process and seeing her reach her goals.

Remember although we have broken this conversation into segments, it is one conversation as Hannah has been exploring the possibility of earning enough money to purchase gifts on her own.  We’ve Explored Possibilities, Assessed Desire, and now Hannah has verbalized her commitment.  She will check out the prices of the materials she will need, then decide what she will make to sell at the mall.  Taking the time to walk this process is invaluable for our children.  It fosters responsibility within their lives, allows them to creatively explore possibilities and choose to do something that is most appealing to them.  This process fosters a healthy accountability structure and gives us as parents a great opportunity to Support our children’s Growth because further coaching conversations are not only possible but the expected norm.

In the next installment we will see what we can do as parents when plans change midstream.

Until next time,
Enjoy your journey into Pro-Active Parent Coaching
Your friend and pro-active parent coach
Gregory Bland

*Gregory and Lynn Bland currently reside in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada.  They have recently completed writing their parent coaching book, “Pro-Active Parent Coaching: Capturing the Heart of Your Child, A Parent’s Guide to Coaching.” Additionally they are providing pastoral care, and participate in various speaking engagements. For more information visit Pro-Active Parent Coaching or write to greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com.

Copyright 2012 Gregory Bland | Pro-ActiveParentCoaching | Nova Scotia | Canada | greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com

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