It doesn’t matter how great our questions are, if we do not have a relational connection, the answer we receive from our children may lack meaning, heart, and depth.  One of the ingredients that make parent coaching so effective is the use of powerful questions.  They can open our children’s hearts, stimulate greater reflection, apply learning to life, and promote an understanding of what God is currently doing within their lives.   All great reasons for taking time to ask!

But, does it begin that way?  When I ask questions will my child immediately open up and embrace this new approach from me?  Possibly, but not in every case.  Some parents who have transitioned from telling to asking have been baffled by the response their children first began giving them.  Short, curt, and shallow answers followed the Parents question, leaving them wondering why they were not seeing changes in their communications together.

The reality is that the power our questions have is reflected by the relationship we share with our children.  Without a relational connection our questions may fail to lead us into the meaningful coaching conversation we had hoped for.  In other words, our focus as we begin to transition from telling to asking should first be upon supporting relationship, not asking the ‘great question.’  Bear in mind, this will take self control, understanding, intentionality, time and effort on our part as parents.

When relational health becomes our focus, our children soon learn that we value them and our relationship together.  Once they understand this, trust will begin to develop between us. As trust increases, relational health grows.  As relational health grows, our children begin opening up and allowing us to touch the deeper areas of their lives and we will then begin to see our questions become more powerful.

This is why the first discipline in the Pro-Active Parent Coaching Model focuses upon relational connection.  As you look to connect with and support your child through coaching allow your focus to turn from asking the right questions to establishing health within your relationship.  In this way, you will recognize your questions growing in power and your children naturally beginning to open up and give you permission to coach the deeper matters of their heart.

Until next time enjoy your journey into Pro-Active Parent Coaching,

Your friend and Pro-Active Parent Coach
Gregory Bland

Author of the ‘newly released’ Pro-Active Parent Coaching: Capturing the Heart of Your Child

*Gregory and Lynn Bland currently reside in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada.  They have recently completed writing a parenting book Pro-Active Parent Coaching: Capturing the Heart of Your Child, A Parent’s Guide to Coaching. Additionally they are providing pastoral care, and participate in various speaking engagements. For more information visit Pro-Active Parent Coaching or write to greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com.

Copyright 2011 Gregory Bland | Pro-ActiveParentCoaching | Nova Scotia | Canada | greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com