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Wow, I’m a Coach…Now what do I do?

By Ally Johnson

Rest in me…Draw near to me…Be close to me.

These have become more than just words lately. They are a command, an instruction, a call for surrender…and they are appropriate to this new chapter of my life.

There’s a scene in the movie Mr. Mom where Michael Keaton is driving the carpool to school for the first time. He plows his paneled station wagon into the carpool line, mowing down traffic cones, oblivious to the astonished stares all around. He is a man on a mission, confident in his new position as carpool driver extraordinaire. When a concerned parent knocks on his window, he looks up at her as she announces loudly, “You’re doing it wrong!”

I am a new life coach…and I am excited. At the same time, I’m also afraid of doing it wrong! I frequently feel overwhelmed with insecurity about my abilities (or lack thereof). How in the world did I get here in the first place?

As a new coach, do you ever feel you’re in a place that’s surreal, scared half to death that you’ll fall flat on your face? Or worse yet, maybe succeed! Now there’s a question to be unpacked: How are you supposed to handle success? They didn’t answer that question in coach training, did they?

And so, fellow newbies, what do we do now? How do we step purposefully into our vision of building relationships with clients and colleagues? How do we connect with other coaches and become part of the larger coaching community…and possibly conquer some of our mountainous fears along the way? 

As part of my journey toward building community, I decided to interview several established coaches and elicit their thoughts on getting started in coaching. And here are some of the wise words I heard: Face your challenges. Take care of yourself. Get a coach. Get past yourself.

Face your challenges

According to Dave McIlrath of www.truthcoaching.com one of the biggest challenges to a new coach is that “their confidence level is not where it should be.” He points out that as a coach gains experience they begin to feel more confident. Okay, so when exactly does that happen?

My biggest challenge is low self confidence; in fact, sometimes it feels like zero confidence. But as soon as I recognize the internal voices of doubt, I seek prayer support from trusted souls in my life. I also study my list of favorite scriptures. Nothing kicks out those toxic voices like a healthy dose of scripture. According to Hebrews 10:23, we are encouraged to “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”

By recognizing that you can use your coaching skills all day, every day, we grow in confidence and effectiveness. Assume that every person you come in contact with is a client, and then don’t just act like a coach—be a coach!

Take Care of Yourself

Can you remember the last time you did something for you, just because you wanted to? Are you listening to your own heart, trusting your intuition and taking care of you? Or, are you ignoring the cry of your own heart, focused instead on fixing and helping everyone else?

According to Jim Chenet of www.vantagecoaching.com, “As you learn more about coaching, you can’t help but apply the principles to your own life.” You are uniquely equipped to answer questions and find solutions. Believe in yourself as you believe in your client.

Coaching isn’t about turning our hearts off to our own cares, desires, and wishes. To be truly effective coaches, it’s vital to care for ourselves and be true to our hearts. It might be as simple as eating your favorite sandwich for lunch, going for a walk, or signing up for a class you’ve wanted to take. Take the actions you’ve been avoiding and see where they lead. Remember, the same skills you bring to your clients also apply to coaching yourself.

Get a Coach

Linda Hedberg of www.lifestoriescoaching.com says, “Without the support of my coach, especially in the beginning, I would probably not be coaching today.” And I have to agree! One of the best gifts I gave myself was to hire a coach. I spent years in and out of counseling for a variety of different reasons, but my coach gets the credit for guiding me through some of the most challenging times of my life.

With his guidance I was able to stay focused during times of extreme challenge and difficulty. Before he was my official coach, he invested his time, prayer, and emotional energy into my life, all without the promise of an official coach-client relationship. He modeled the value of building the relationship first. Now as a coach myself, I reflect on the way our relationship began as I create my own coaching community. If you don’t know where to find a coach, visit www.christiancoaches.com to search for a Christian coach that fits you.

Get Past Yourself

When Dave McIlrath set out to create his business, he had the following foundational vision: “It’s about more than me.” He recognized the need for coaches to come together as a team and built a coaching group that provides Christ-centered support in their coaching niche. He facilitates a bi-weekly phone call for his coaches to answer questions and share anecdotes. Dave makes an investment in the person and in the relationship, knowing that whether they become a client is not the point; building the connection is.

So get past yourself. Take a step of faith, reach out, and connect with someone or something new. Get involved in a peer relationship with other coaches so that you can practice your skills on each other. Expect to provide motivation, and expect to be motivated in return.

 Moving Forward

I believe that God’s ultimate commitment is not to our successful coaching businesses but to our successful lives, to who He means for us to be. We are called to be coaches, to listen well, to speak motivating and encouraging words, to support and facilitate others. And to do that well, we must invite others into our journey and become willing to address the barriers that keep us from moving forward.

 It’s time for me to put my fears aside and listen to trusted mentors. Solomon said, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). I think I’m ready to partner with God and with other coaches to move out of fear and isolation into community and hope. I have my action step. How about you?

 Ally Johnson is the author of Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere, and the founder of Resurrectedgirl Personal Development Coaching. www.resurrectedgirl.com She lives in San Antonio, Texas, with her husband and two children.