“I’m avoiding my daughter and I feel horrible about it, and that is what I want to coach on today.”  Windy, one of my clients (whose name has been changed) brought this to her recent coaching session.  She felt horrible and while I honored that, I also felt great hope as “avoiding” in this case is a lovely red flag of the Lord.  Dare I even say a prompting of the Holy Spirit?! 

As we explored what was going on for her, her daughter and her whole family we got into a discussion about needs.  What her daughter Rory needs based on her personality, strengths and overall God-given wiring; which lead us into what Windy needs as a person and a woman before she’s a wife, a mom, or a business owner.   Through her coaching, it became clear that Windy’s basic needs were not being met and that her tank was empty.  She was avoiding her daughter because she had nothing available to meet Rory’s needs; a profound revelation, conviction even, as it is specific and she knows what to do to turn it around. 

“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and myrrh.” (Matthew 2:11 NIV)

As I’ve reflected on this passage, I noticed the order of events….they see Jesus, they bow down before Jesus, they worship Him, then they open their treasure, then they present their gifts. It’s so interesting to notice that they received first. In receiving Jesus they are allowing Him to enter their hearts.  It is through Jesus that we are reconciled to God and a relationship is both restored and begun. And it is a matter of the heart. And from the heart that they worship. It is from this place of fullness of gratitude that they open their treasures ~ give of themselves. Then it says they present their gifts to Jesus. It is an offering ~ from the heart, the soul, from their very being that was touched by the person of Jesus in receiving.

Windy has gone away from her coaching session relieved and excited:  she now has the ability to see her own needs, has chosen to surrender to them and is committed to receiving first before giving.  Receiving what she needs from the Lord, from herself, and from those around her who have the gifts that she needs to fill her tank. 

From this place of fullness she’ll first be able to open her heart to her daughter and that connection will be restored; indeed her heart had already begun to open before we finished the call.  Then she’ll present the energy, love, and related actions to Rory so her daughter’s needs are met and Windy is the mom that she wants to be and knows she is. 

In this season of giving…. where do you need to give the gift of receiving? 

Ginny Victory, CPA, ACC      www.ginnyvictory.com