Here are some clues I listen for that might indicate an opportunity to reframe the situation in terms of character growth (ala Romans 8:28):

• Dissonance
  Your words don’t fit your values, Christian worldview, etc. Is a leadership principle being violated? Is this the way God operates? What does scripture say about this?
• Strongholds
  Negative identity statements, reactional reaction, decisions about life made in the midst of hurt
• Life Stage
  This is a transition, a change of season, or issues related to the season you are in. This is something normal.
• Ownership/Level of Engaging
  How is the person engaging this? Is he she just enduring/tolerating it, making practical changes, or going to the heart level? (See the book, Coaching Questions for more on the levels of engaging.)
• Destiny Clues
  The thing you are going through is preparing you for your destiny, you just don’t know it. You are experiencing what those you are called to minister to experience. Or you  are going through a shaping experience that will equip you to reach them.
• Your Heart
  What is your true heart cry? What really makes your heart sing? What is going on on the inside?
• Negative Guidance
  God is leading you away from something. The cloud has moved. God is removing something from you that otherwise would be hard to let go of. So, what is God speaking to you through this about where you should be, how you should respond, or what you should be doing?
• Identity Struggles
  Fundamental identity struggles like conflict avoidance, control issues, man-pleasing, acceptance or belief in self. How is God addressing one of these issues through your circumstances?
• God’s Perspective
  Are you wrapped up in a human point of view and missing God’s perspective? Are you trapped within seeing the human implications (like money and security) and not how God wants to use these to make you into the man you are called to be?

Tony Stoltzfus offers transformational coaching and coach training to ministry leaders through CoachingPastors.com.