Comments on: Heartbreaking or Hopeful, A Coaching Challenge, by Kimberly Dinsdale http://www.christiancoachingcenter.org/index.php/2009/11/heartbreaking-or-hopeful-a-coaching-challenge-by-kimberly-dinsdale/ Christian Life Coaching and Coach Training Resources and Information Thu, 13 May 2010 09:11:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: mstruble http://www.christiancoachingcenter.org/index.php/2009/11/heartbreaking-or-hopeful-a-coaching-challenge-by-kimberly-dinsdale/comment-page-1/#comment-146 mstruble Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:04:19 +0000 http://www.christiancoachingcenter.org/?p=2698#comment-146 Great post, Kimberly. So typical of so many women, abusive marriage or not. In my Mom's and Women With Mission coaching sessions we deal with expectations right away. So many women live by the expectations of others, and base their own from them. I start by asking the women to list the expectations for being a good "women" or "mom" that others have. Then we list their expectations of themselves. We follow up by asking, "Which of these are realistic and true?" I have never seen them leave more than one or two on the list.! They usually have a huge ah-ha when they realize they don't need to expect those things any more. That opens the door to talk about values, beliefs, and what they really want from life. In this case, I would ask questions to find out exactly where she is at right now. What is the real issue? Grieving, healing, self-rediscovery, clarity of what she wants, or is it a matter of just taking a baby step to change one thing she really needs to function. I have found that often working on one small thing in the areas frustrating to them, they will gain the confidence to move forward with bigger issues. Marian Struble Connected Life Coaching www.connectedlifecoaching.com Great post, Kimberly. So typical of so many women, abusive marriage or not. In my Mom’s and Women With Mission coaching sessions we deal with expectations right away. So many women live by the expectations of others, and base their own from them. I start by asking the women to list the expectations for being a good “women” or “mom” that others have. Then we list their expectations of themselves. We follow up by asking, “Which of these are realistic and true?” I have never seen them leave more than one or two on the list.! They usually have a huge ah-ha when they realize they don’t need to expect those things any more.

That opens the door to talk about values, beliefs, and what they really want from life.

In this case, I would ask questions to find out exactly where she is at right now. What is the real issue? Grieving, healing, self-rediscovery, clarity of what she wants, or is it a matter of just taking a baby step to change one thing she really needs to function. I have found that often working on one small thing in the areas frustrating to them, they will gain the confidence to move forward with bigger issues.

Marian Struble
Connected Life Coaching
www.connectedlifecoaching.com

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