Blessed as You Are, by Ginny VictoryOct 26th, 2009 | By Kimberly Dinsdale | Category: Coaching Women - Guest Posts
The word fraud keeps showing up everywhere…. in my coaching, at a conference, in a Sunday teaching, in a novel I’m reading, in The Message translation, and I just got a new magazine and it was on the front cover!
Ok, Lord….I’m hearing you, and at the risk of being exposed myself, am finally obeying by writing this article.
This subject first came up for me at the beginning of the year at a workshop for coaches. I realized that the thing that was holding me back was fear of being exposed. Further coaching revealed that awful word: fraud.
Recently I was asked to run a workshop for women business owners and the requested topic was: fear of success. After coaching several hundred women over the last 4 years, it’s clear that at the core, fear of success is about being exposed as an imposter or a fraud. If I’m a fraud, then I don’t deserve success, can’t sustain it and worse yet will be “found out” and humiliated in a public forum.
At a coaches conference a few weeks ago we were doing an exercise about leadership. In answer to the question “How do I see myself?” the keynote, a coach herself said: “fraud.” A room of one hundred coaches sat in stunned silence. Then she asked “who else?” Hands went up all over the room…..including mine.
For me it’s about authenticity, walking my talk; for some it’s about being enough, or having credibility, or about regrets. What is it about for you?
Interestingly enough, the next day I attended my former church home where Rob Bell teaches. They were in the beatitudes and I came on just the right day. “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth (Matt 5:5).” The bottom line of Rob’s teaching can be summed up in The Message version of that verse: “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less.”
In that moment, something in me shifted. I’m blessed just as I am – authentic: “having a claimed and verifiable origin or authorship1” my designer label says “Created by I AM”; and human: sometimes I walk my talk and sometimes I don’t. If Paul who was used by God in very visible and successful ways, can say that what he wants to do he does not and instead does what he hates (Rom 7:15), then I’m in good company.
And now ok with you looking into my life, being exposed and you seeing that I am authentically me and indeed human. Which is great timing (again) since a colleague gave me some unsolicited feedback the other day that she could see both who I am and where I’m insecure or uncomfortable – and named them. That yanked off the mask! Thankfully, due to the work of the Lord this year, it was already loose. And though I felt raw for a couple of days, she’s right and God used her to complete His work in me.
I’m committed to keeping the mask off. To being who I am, no more, no less. Three lovely things have happened since: 1-I admitted to my colleague that she saw me accurately and am experiencing such freedom and peace. 2-I got wrapped around the axle with a client the other day and made the choice to be transparent and let her know what was going on for me – which by the way ended up showing that I do walk my talk (oh the irony!). 3-I’m no longer holding back: Tiara Circles coaching communities has launched; several speaking/workshop opportunities have come and partnerships with various colleagues have formed that will ask me to take risks and be visible in new ways. I’m ready now. Because I’m both imperfect and authentic at the same time – no more, no less – and I am blessed.
What are you ready for now? What has shifted?
What are you committed to? What new actions will you take?
Go for it, let God use you in new ways. And may you rest in His blessing of who you are, just as you are – no more, no less.
Ginny Victory, CPA, ACC